Closing circles

I can feel change. It is not just seasons changing, there is a sense of responsible change growing from inside.

I have decided to get myself a house. Own it, pay for it, live in it. Be responsible for it. I am in the process of finding out what I really want and I am having daily epiphanies on what I want and what I do not want.

This is a time to close circles. Not circles left open somewhere in the past. I'll close the circles next to me that feel outdated, which do not serve me anymore. I do not even have to close them myself, all I have to do is just lean into the feeling and accept their natural closing, painful at times.

Yesterday was that kind of the day when everything seems to be closing and all that is left to do is feel the pain and move on. 

My bowling club closes. My dog is old and his health is deteriorating. My parents are old and their health is not what it used to be. An old me wants to get out of the stage. My new "me" is not yet ready.

From somewhere I get a sort of wisdom to look at things with love and grace and let them be. And then let them go. Letting go is also an inside job.